A purple and white shield with a black and green dart board.

Welcome To Tonger

The official sport of the Daily Stuffing. And the only other viable non-kitchen use of kitchen tongs on Planet Earth.

*That’s our story, and we’re sticking to it.

So…why Tonger?

Why the hell not?

Seriously. That’s the answer.

Like all things at the Daily Stuffing, the sport of Tonger exists simply for its own sake.

And to make you and your friends and family and party-crashers laugh maniacally. So that’s a win.

Here’s all you need:

  1. A Velcro dart board.
  2. Velcro plastic balls.
  3. Kitchen tongs.

That’s literally it.

Now, here’s how it works:

  1. You grab the ball with the tongs (this can happen while concurrently using the tongs to flip a steak as per World Tonger Federation bylaw 1.31.1)
  2. You get a running, walking, or rolling start towards the foul line, which sits 12 feet from the Velcro dart board.
  3. Your opponent plays whatever music/sound they want while you’re on your approach to distract you. The music that gets you laughing the loudest is always best. The more they distract you, the more likely it is that you wipe out and/or drop the ball. In which case, you forfeit your turn and the points, and they get to lord that moment over you for eternity.
  4. Throw the ball with the tongs and take your score.
  5. Profit

The music component is guaranteed to have you laughing your faces off, which will lower your blood pressure, raise your vibe, and help you bond with the other Tongerians. Yes. It’s a thing now. Tongerians.

You can play on one, five on five, or 100 on 100. You can wear Halloween outfits or ridiculous hats or an entire clown getup. Or nothing. Naked Tonger among consenting adults is highly encouraged as well.

The Tonger World Championships will be held in Las Vegas on August 31st, 2024.

Simply self-appoint the Tonger champion of your city, town, school, or local pub and show up. We’ll figure it out when you get there.

Registration details to follow. Sign up for our daily emails here to stay up on all Tongerian news.
And you can buy your official Daily Stuffing-endorsed Tonger set here!

Happy Tongering!