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Local Corgi Very Comfortable Being Worshipped As Deity By Misanthropic Owner

WEST HARTFORD –

After being exalted as a demi-god on his owner’s bumper sticker, local Corgi Ruff Ruffington, 4, has adjusted very well to his lofty new position.

“I knew she was fond of me; I mean, she can barely make rent but still springs for the name-brand treats”, barked Ruffington, “But morally elevating me over 8 billion humans? I can live with that. All hail your four-legged Caesar.”

Ruffington’s owner Mariah McHateyourface, 27, was equally comfortable with this new arrangement.

“Yes, I’m a proud Corgitarian”, said McHateyourface, while fashioning a golden idol from her dog’s likeness, “Because unlike me, everyone else sucks.”

At press time, a holy war was declared on McHateyourface by her neighbor Jenna McHateyoumore, 25, who started the Church of the Pomeranian and has promised to liberate every square inch of the sacred dog park.


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