Bellagio Announces New Residency By Celebrity Custodian

LAS VEGAS –

Following the trend of Las Vegas residencies by celebrity chefs, bartenders, singers and Uber drivers, the Bellagio has excitedly announced its most glamorous addition yet.

“This has been in the works for three years”, said Bellagio owner Terry Benedict, “Guests from around the world will now be treated to the luxury of ‘Men’s Rooms by Roger’, exclusively at our property.”

This residency, featuring fully stocked rolls of toilet paper, immaculately squigied sink mirrors and floors you still definitely would be advised to not eat off, has been creating significant buzz around town.

“I’ve been on the waiting list to take a leak there for six months”, said Perry Cantholdit, 47, of Chandler, “But it’s well worth it, regardless of what my urologist says.”

At press time, ‘Men’s Rooms by Roger’ had received mixed reviews after its soft opening, with naysayers vocally complaining about being nickle-and-dimed on the Febreeze.