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Job Opening At Mcdonalds Drive-Thru Lowers Requirement To Masters Degree

SPRINGFIELD –

Looking to widen their pool of candidates to fill the vacancy of the Tuesday night drive-thru graveyard shift, the Abbott Road McDonalds has taken a dramatic step to lower the barrier to entry.

“Asking for PhDs and above was great in theory, but we found ourselves competing for all the best talent with the Wendy’s over on Taylor”, said Assistant Manager Kyle McHamburgler, 39, “This may let in some people who aren’t as sharp, but at least we’ll get a butt in the seat.”

Candidates were excited to see this opening become more accessible to people with their paltry level of educational attainment.

“I didn’t think my Masters was able to get me anything anymore”, said Samantha Quarterpounder, 28, referencing a job market that now requires Doctorates in Nuclear Engineering to shovel fish guts on the wharf, “But as soon as I saw this, I knew I was back in the game. My thesis was on the interplay between drive-thru sound systems and indecisive customers, after all.”

At press time, the area Burger King, in an effort to stay competitive, lowered their janitorial opening requirements from 20+ to 10+ years in a Fortune 100 C-suite.

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