78% Of Americans ‘extremely Concerned’ That Situation In Niger Will Force Them To Have To Google Country

NIAMEY –

With the recent military junta in Niger threatening the nation’s fledgling democracy and regional stability, a strong majority of Americans have become increasingly unsettled about the implications of this conflict.

“This is terrifying”, said Sue McGopanthers, 57, of Rock Hill, SC, “My book club might ask me about this ruckus and I may have to skip bingo night to learn where this place even is. It’s in South America, right? Next to Jamaica?”

Others were equally unsettled by these developments.

“Just what we need, another war for oil in the Middle East”, said Ray Rayston, 38, of Williston, ND, erroneously placing Niger thousands of miles East, “But I should probably learn some Nigerian if I’m gonna get deployed to Saudi to protect ’em.”

At press time, Americans, upon learning of the conflict’s details, were waiting patiently for their 9 p.m. cable news anchors to tell them which side were the good guys.