Darryl Anka, Channeler Of “Bashar”, Actually Channeling Syrian President Bashar Al-assad

DAMASCUS –

Recent communication with a being called, “Bashar” has given fans of spiritual leader Darryl Anka a new insight into the nature of this being, and the message he wishes to share.

“We come to you, to your civilization, to bring a message that you are powerful, infinite beings”, said Bashar, through Anka, “But not as powerful as our Ba’ath forces who gloriously crushed those ISIS dogs in Baghouz. Long live the regime!”

The messages, increasingly sounding like the Syrian leader’s call for international recognition and the lifting of sanctions to go along with enlightenment and cosmic truth, has left many longtime Bashar fans in a state of confusion.

“He had me at the law of attraction and adjusting my frequency to the reality I wished to create”, said spiritual expo attendee Tina Woovivich 45, “But then he lost me when he said that the outbreath of the universe depended on him getting a new shipment of anti-aircraft batteries from Iran.”

At press time, Anka has considered channeling a less controversial being, opening communication with an entity known only as, “Taylorswift”.