Legislation Typo Leads To Ban Of Tic Tacs

WASHINGTON –

Aiming to pass a ban on a popular social media platform due to CCP influence, the nation has instead found itself battling an epidemic of bad breath due to an unfortunate typo in the bill.

“I told these idiots – always use spellcheck”, said Tic Tac CEO Rhonda Bankrupton, 54, “Now we have to liquidate everything and hope to God that Listerine strips can save the day on first dates everywhere.”

The accidental ban did find support, however, within some unlikely circles.

“Phew”, said Tik Tok creator Kadyn Effyouall, 19, “I was worried my reel praising my guy Ivan the Terrible would only be seen on the gram.”

At press time, Tic Tac was hoping to reconstitute itself under the new name of Tic Tac Toe, but found itself battling legal headwinds as “Toe” was trademarked by Onlyfans.