Napoli Pizzeria In Queens, NY Named A UNESCO World Heritage Site By Random Guy From The Neighborhood

QUEENS –

In a stunning announcement that’s taken the world of pizza enthusiasts from Northern Queens by storm, Napoli Pizzeria and Restaurant has been given a prestigious honor that has quite literally no way of being honored.

“They really need to give this place its props”, said self-appointed nominating committee member and electrician-by-trade Joey Del Facestuffo, 43, of Flushing, “Their sicilian sucks but lemme tell you – their friggin’ ziti slice is outta this world.”

Pizzeria employees, when reached for reaction about this highly unexpected and practically useless endorsement, were genuinely taken aback.

“Yeah, man, we do the best spinach slice on 164th street. Only been sitting out for 6 hours!”, said the mystery man behind the counter, keeping his name anonymous due to ongoing unresolved gambling debts, “The Pyramids ain’t got nothing on us, man.”

At press time, New China Garden down the street was also lobbying to be included in the UNESCO nomination process after their streak of salmonella-free chicken lo mein servings had been extended to 11.