Regular Indian guy named Guru guesses he has to be a spiritual leader now

HYDERABAD –

In an inevitable turn of fate, local street food vendor Guru Sadhpreet, 52, of Hyderabad, has been muscled into the life of a spiritual leader due to his given birth name.

“Look man”, said Sadhpreet, “All I want to do is sell some masala puri, you know? But no! Everyone thinks my name means I have some profound wisdom to share with them. How am I supposed to know why you were reincarnated with a bad back? Are you going to order a side of samosas or what? “

Mr. Sadhpreet, a spiritual sage in name only, nevertheless has been looked upon by the locals as a source of revelation and guidance due to his parents’ ill-fated decision to saddle him with this name.

“Yesterday, I had this guy ask me how to achieve moksha”, said Sadhpreet, begrudgingly fitting himself with a Saffron robe to look the part, “So I told him, ‘My child, you must overcome all desire. Except for this samosa. Vishnu wishes for you to buy it, as it will restore the balance of good and evil. And especially to buy some for your cousins. One can never have too much good in the world.”

At press time, Sadhpreet had erroneously advised more than 5,000 passersby on all things related to life, death, marriage, spiritual liberation and the best sauces to dip with Biryani.