India Changing Name To “Bharat” To Avoid Discover Card Payments

DELHI –

After much deliberation about cultural identity and the need to duck hefty minimum payments, the Indian government has made a history-altering decision.

“It is time for our nation to assume its rightful place on the world stage as Bharat”, said Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi, “Bharat didn’t put 17k on its Discover Card after a bender in Vegas. Take it up with India.”

Others around the world were treating this move with hesitancy and skepticism.

“I mean, I respect what they’re trying to do”, said Czech President Petr Pavel, “We tried the same thing by changing our name from the Czech Republic to Czechia. But the Macy’s card people still hunted us down. I knew we overdid it at Christmas last year.”

At press time, representatives from Discover Card told sources they were looking forward to changing India’s 18% annual APR to 1800% for Bharat.