Taiwan Pork Chop House To Formally Declare Independence

NEW YORK –

After decades of official adherence to the “One Pork Chop House” policy, a recent change in management has led to a geopolitical earthquake.

“We have the right to control our own destiny”, said proprietor Jian Liu, 57, “And we will not be intimidated by any threats to blockade our subgum vegetable delivery trucks.”

This announcement, leading to emergency late-night meetings in Washington, Brussels, Tokyo and the Bowery Restauranteurs Association, is expected to have wide-ranging impacts.

“All options are on the table for Pork Chop House reunification”, said a spokesperson for the People’s Liberation Army in Beijing, “We consider any attempts to disentangle wonton with spicy oil from Sichuan wonton with spicy oil an unacceptable act of aggression.”

At press time, most area restaurants, fearful of retaliation from Peking Duck House, have not formally recognized this move, although special envoys have been sent from Biryani Bliss and Rincón Salvadoreño.