Linkedin User Has Severe FOMO For Random, Totally Unrelated Event He Saw Posted In Feed

PITTSBURGH –

Scrolling through his feed on a usual Wednesday, LinkedIn user Ahmed Al-Wannago, 33, felt the sudden, crippling pangs of longing upon seeing an event that he would never dream of attending in a million years.

“I saw this woman I don’t even know talk about the networking mixer her company is hosting at the Textile Distributors of Northern Wisconsin Expo in Wausau”, said Al-Wannago, a graphic artist by trade, “Why was I suddenly looking up flights and hotels in Wausau? What the hell? It doesn’t even look fun.”

Al-Wannago, having zero connection to the textile industry, the state of Wisconsin or an interest in meeting anyone associated with either ecosystem, nevertheless felt a strong pull towards this event.

“When she said, ‘Hope to see you there, it’ll be a blast’, that just broke me”, said Al-Wannago, after his boss turned down his request to attend the event, “I’m gonna have to stay off my socials for a few days after this.”

At press time, Al-Wannago was working on excuses to get out of going to the Graphic Artists of Pittsburgh annual extravaganza to be held three blocks from his apartment.