Covid-19 Planning On Spiritual Retreat In Bali


After a very difficult year battling killer T-cells, global herd immunity and content that no longer went viral on the Tok, Covid-19 has decided it’s time for a spiritual awakening.

“I was looking around my life, and suddenly realized I had no purpose anymore”, said the virus, “I wasn’t turning obscure epidemiologists into primetime stars like I did in my younger days, and I couldn’t even get people in San Francisco to mask up while driving alone anymore. I knew then it was time for a change.”

Covid, booking a retreat to trigger a Kundalini awakening in the simple, humble environs of a 5-star resort, believes reconnecting with its true nature will be a profound experience.

“I spent all this time trying to change the world around me, mutating left and right to stay relevant and dodge antibodies”, said Covid, “But perhaps the real change needed to come from within. To find my inner spike protein that originated in…well…anyway, no need to get into that.”

At press time, Covid’s guru was reportedly very excited to welcome the virus’s money to the retreat.

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