Every Professional On Linkedin Encouraged To Hire A Coach, Preferably A Defensive Line Coach

SUNNYVALE –

With more and more professionals enlisting the help of coaches for self-development, marketing guidance and picking up pre-snap motions in the backfield, the people of LinkedIn have been encouraged to go all-in.

“My coach is the best”, said brand guru Kelly McFuschiaandgold, 33, “He really teaches me the importance of consistency and high-quality hits to the midsection of pocket quarterbacks.”

Others were also enthusiastic about enlisting these specific coaching services.

“I had a coach for years that taught me the importance of accountability and showing up”, said CFO Alex Countemupovich, 43, “But I never had anyone teach me a pass rush technique that could make 350 lb. left tackles look stupid in front of a live, national audience.”

At press time, defensive line coaches the nation over began a blitz of inbox messages to prospective clients, insisting they jump on a 15-minute discovery call or they were, “A candy*** who doesn’t deserve to wear that uniform.”