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“I’m Not Everyone’s Cup Of Tea!”, Declares Man Who Horrifyingly Moonlights As An Actual Cup Of Tea

BURLINGTON –

Upon hearing the colloquialism, “I’m not everyone’s cup of tea!” among corporate colleagues, local man Roger Chamomile, 44, seconded the comment, albeit in a literal, chilling way.

“I definitely wasn’t last night!”, declared Chamomile, referring to the peppermint he doused himself in as he slowly lowered his body into a vat of hot water as per the custom in his underground tea club, “They kept screaming at me to be Earl Grey instead.”

Chamomile, casually revealing his warped hobby among colleagues whose edgiest extracurricular activities max out at sneaking in mini rum bottles on their Tuesday bowling leagues, was met with a predictably terrified reaction.

“Wait, he does what?”, said colleague Tamara Shockton, 37, “He does know having a last name like Chamomile doesn’t mean he necessarily has to flavor and then scald himself in a back-alley S&M tea club, right?

..right??”

At press time, Chamomile was hoping to bring a colleague along to the club, to show them that its members, among them a judge, county commissioner and YouTube baking aficionado, are just normal people like everyone else who enjoy life-size cups of people.

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