Just One Dose Of Psilocybin Can Eliminate Crippling Feelings Of Not Seeing Bleeding Walls Sing

SAN FRANCISCO –

Addressing one of the greatest public health crises of our time, researchers with the Institute of Please Make those Walls Bleed and Sing have released a study that shows significant promise.

“Traditional therapy often falls short”, said team lead Mona Al-Bleedidi, 36, “And within months, patients report they’re still unable to see their bedroom walls gush blood while singing the entire soundtrack of ‘Saturday Night Fever.’ But we believe this to be a game-changer.”

Study subjects, reporting 60-80% improvements in seeing the hallucinations of wounded, animate walls serenading them while they sleep, were grateful to be a part of this paradigm-shifting experiment.

“I was hopeless before this, I really was”, said Kyle Nowtheceilingistalkingtoo, 45, “But today is the first day of the rest of my life. I’m gonna tell all the guys in my unit about it.”

At press time, the institute was looking to expose all subjects to an additional dose, to see how effectively it can open communication between them and their dogs in conversational Portuguese.