Local Guardian Angel “Doesn’t Get Paid Enough To Put Up With This S***”


After another one of her Earthly children repeatedly ignored her gentle nudges and torpedoed his life anyway, local Guardian Angel Saraphoena is considering walking off the job once and for all.

“Remind me why I agreed to this?”, asked Saraphoena, as her Earthbound babysitting assignment, Jimmy, went back to his nightmare of an ex for the 3rd time, “I don’t even get a dental plan in the 6th dimension.”

Saraphoena, agreeing to the position on the promise of imparting divine wisdom, moving humanity forward and getting summers off to travel to Aruba, has officially exhausted all enthusiasm for the job she once vied for.

“I’ve done all I can”, she said, “How many times do I need to show him the number 22 and make him trip over his own shoelaces before he realizes he’s being an idiot? When’s the happy hour start on Sagittarius B anyway?”

At press time, Saraphoena was drafting her 2-week notice, but was rumored to be reconsidering her resignation when informed that doing so would make her incarnate as a human political consultant.

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