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Local Spiritual Influencer Channels Loving, Inspiring, Horrifyingly Sadistic Messages Of Joy And Wonder And Calamity

LAGUNA BEACH –

After her latest Instagram post that authoritatively declared something or another about massive energy shifts, local spiritual influencer Mandy McDoomsworth, 38, found herself lovingly hoping for something absolutely horrible to happen to everyone.

“My guides are telling me that all your dreams are about to come true and manifest as the world literally comes to an end”, said McDoomsworth, oblivious to the stunning incongruence of her messages, “They’re quite sure that you’re about to step into an ascended energy of creativity and peace and nightmarish apocalyptic hell.”

Her followers, however, found deep meaning in her messages of hopeful, inspirational terror.

“She’s right, WE are the creators of the beautiful, wondrous reality we wish to see which is all going to collapse into a fiery pit of oblivion because it’s been foretold”, said Susie Dupington, 43, of Prescott, “I should really take the cat in.”

At press time, McDoomsworth was looking forward to further guidance from her team, who told her to patch things up with her husband who she should absolutely divorce.

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