Man Sent Back From Near-Death Experience To Finish Linkedin Post

WORCESTER –

After going through a near-death experience resulting from being hit on the head by a falling Ford F-150, local man Jim McGoner, 37, found himself propelled back into his body to complete his earthly mission.

“It was the warmest, most beautiful, most amazing place…like Foxboro when Brady was playing”, said McGoner, “I didn’t want to leave. But then this Angel says to me I gotta go back, because the world needs me to finish a post about gaming the ATS with industry-specific keywords.”

McGoner, finding himself disoriented upon his return to his body, flummoxed onlookers with the tale of his message from the great beyond.

“Yeah, sure, whatever you say pal”, said trauma surgeon Dr. Mitchell Cutopenton, 54, “No one even uses LinkedIn anyway.”

At press time, McGoner was working on the memoirs from his experience, titled, “The Algorithm is real: Implications for your eternal soul.”