“Score” Dating App Has Local Woman Excited To Have Dinner With An 810

WOODLAND HILLS –

After unsuccessfully bumbling through dating apps like Tinder, Hinge and LinkedIn, local woman Melissa McTransaction, 31, is really looking forward to Score’s transformation of her love life.

“He has everything I’m looking for”, said McTransaction, “On-time monthly student loan payments, a stellar debt-to-credit ratio and no medical catastrophes that would knock him down into the 600s like that creep from Ventura who had the aneurysm. Ugh. Loser.”

The 810 in question, whose name, appearance, belief systems, personal hygeine and attitude towards women all remain unknown, was excited about this date as well.

“That 770 looks great”, said the 810 of McTransaction, after another full balance payment on his Chase Platinum card, “My mother told me to only date 800s but I see her potential after that hard inquiry falls off next year.”

At press time, McTransaction had kept the door open to ghosting 810 should an 820 appear in her feed.