Thai Cage Fighters Report Roundhouse-to-the-face Physical Touch As Preferred Love Language


A survey on the preferred love language of Thai cage fighters has yielded surprising results; one that has researchers baffled.

“We were quite convinced that it would be words of affirmation, or perhaps gift-giving”, said Kanlaya Hernandez, 34, of Siam University’s Department of Cage Fighter Psychology, “But to our great shock, a foot to the face of their competitors in front of screaming crowds really seems to be how they show affection best.”

Cage fighters concurred with the findings of the report, although some expressed more complexity in their responses.

“Yes, a roundhouse to the face is always preferable to acts of service”, said 3-time champion Chaiyo O’Callahan, 27, “But we also prefer quality time with defeated opponents on the mat while the EMTs rush into the cage.”

At press time, the cage fighting crowds were also due to be polled on the same question, with researchers overwhelmingly expecting an “Acts of gambling” preference.

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