The Devil Is A Liar; Claims He’s 6 Feet On Tinder Profile When Really Only 5’9″


Leading off the morning sermon for the New Horizons of Saved Light Community Church, Pastor Bob McBrimstone, 61, has an important message for his congregation.

“O, behold, a great evil shall arise while swiping’, said the Canaanite shepherd”, preached Rev. McBrimstone, “And the deception of the enemy shall be seen especially when wearing heels.”

Congregants were deeply moved by this sermon and were eager to share their thoughts on the matter.

“This is some straight, real, holy ghost fire talk right here”, said choir member Candy Hatestheapps, 36, “He also lied about making six figures as the administrator of the underworld. Guess who had to pick up the check.”

At press time, Pastor McBrimstone made further accusations of dishonesty towards the prince of darkness, insisting that he was promised a lift to the dry cleaners that never materialized.

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