Universe Eats Magic Mushroom, Realizes All Of Creation Is An April Fool’s Joke

BEND –

After cosplaying as forager Rollie McTripperson for 27 years, the universe, after eating a mushroom through said character, came to a profound realization about itself.

“Holy crap”, said the universe, while totally forgetting it was Rollie who promised to pick up his sister from the gym, “Exploding nebulas and wars in Eastern Europe and LinkedIn influencers? Wow. Best gag ever.”

The universe, remembering that it was the singularity of all thought, possibility and energetic expression, was quick to congratulate itself for being such an imaginative edgelord.

“The cyberbullying really got me worked up, didn’t it?”, said the universe, cracking itself up as it realized the extent to which it utterly trolled itself, “But definitely not as much as the asteroids. That was some A+ work if I don’t mind saying so.”

At press time, the universe was planning on an encore prank by giving the Millennials it was cosplaying even more existential anxiety for the absolute **** of it.