In Stunning Announcement, Local Beer Garden To Serve Beer

ALEXANDRIA –

After several years of serving as a functional dog park and daycare center, the Dognkid Brewing Co. of Alexandria, Virginia has made an announcement that’s shocked the wider community.

“We know it may be mission creep, but we feel strongly that this is the right move”, said co-owner Dale Hopsington, 44, about the brewery’s insistence on eschewing babysitting duties in favor of brewing suds, “Rest assured, our core clientele remains toddlers and lab retrievers and our new seasonal sours and porters will reflect that.”

Patrons, however, were not pleased with this change of direction.

“Where the hell do they get off?”, said longtime patron Emily Pitbullmom, 31, “Since when is beer kid-friendly? I’m calling the county first thing Monday.”

At press time, it was rumored that the Sloppydivorce Vinyard of Delaplane, VA was considering a similar pivot to focus on serving wine.