Couple On Verge Of Breakup Hoping The Other Doesn’t Use Their Motivational Quotes First On Instagram

SONOMA –

Arriving at the last days of their troubled relationship, local couple Dave and Julie McWanderingeye of Palo Alto have each staked their claim to the quotes they’ll be sharing post-breakup.

“He better not use the one about one door closing so another can open”, said Julie McWanderingeye, 28, while furiously cropping out a selfie from their glamorous wine tasting couple’s photo, “That’s been my go-to for the last two guys and always gets the most likes.”

Her soon-to-be ex was equally adamant about protecting his stolen intellectual property.

“I swear, if she posts, ‘This too shall pass’, I’m calling off the mediator and getting my lawyer involved”, said Dave McWanderingeye, 30, “Especially if she does it with a sparkly filter.”

At press time, the couple, after lengthy negotiations, had graciously agreed to split custody of the dog, the lawnmower and, “It’s always darkest before the dawn.”