LAO TZU: The Journey Of 1,000 Miles Begins With A Full Tank Of Regular Unleaded

HENAN PROVINCE –

Seeking to impart wisdom to future generations of hasty, spiritually disconnected people who have no idea how to properly plan a road trip, Taoism founder Lao Tzu had sage words to share with a world in need.

“To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders”, said the ancient mystic, while filling up his 2017 Camry at a local Hess station, “Therefore, one must flow with the killer $2.89 cash price and not get gouged by those thieves at Sunoco.”

Lao Tzu, conveying the message that waiting to gas up before reaching your first stop is just begging for trouble if you get stuck behind 20 miles of construction, joyfully shared his wisdom with no expectation of any kind.

“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished”, he said, while yelling at the SUV in front of him to move his a** after he yielded to allow him to merge into his lane, “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”

At press time, Lao Tzu, when asked for his order at the travel plaza Burger King, simply said, “He who knows does not speak, and he who speaks does not know.”