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Local Bro In Panic After Group Chat Leaked On International Women’s Day

BLOOMINGTON –

After a day of performative allyship filled with posts, videos, likes, loves, hearts and castigating the patriarchy to the delight of his 18,000 followers, local bro Blake Chadton, 24, was horrified to learn that the group chat with his male friends has somehow been made public.

“Oh God”, said a terrified Chadton, “It wasn’t me, I swear. It was AI.”

The chat, revealing a misogyny so depraved it’s drawn condemnations from the Taliban, has put Chadton in a difficult bind.

“I’m gonna totally get deleted in the ally thank-you post now”, he said, referring to the most likely course of action after the texts revealed his attitudes towards women to be befitting of a 17th-century Salem witch hunter, “My dad’s lawyer is gonna be super busy this week.”

At press time, every other firm, ironclad male ally of women around the globe has made a point of wiping their progressive, feminist group conversations from the record just in case.

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