Local Medium Connects With Spirit, Receives Immediate Sales Pitch

SALEM –

After spending years refining her ESP abilities, local medium Sharla McTalktodead, 53, finally broke through to the other side, only to find an unexpected response.

“So, I’m with a client and felt a spirit come through”, said McTalktodead, “It thanked me for connecting, then immediately went into a long-winded pitch about its coaching services for mediums just like me. What the hell, man?”

McTalktodead, repeatedly beseiged by the spirit under the guise of “just following up” signs like numeric coincidences and bleeding walls, regrets making contact in the first place.

“No”, said an indignant McTalktodead, “I don’t have time to jump on a 15-minute seance to hear all about your customized solutions to get me in front of more high-dollar spirits.”

At press time, McTalktodead has nevertheless continued to connect with more spirits, beginning every channeling session with warnings that any mention of Bitcoin or Forex will be cast into the underworld.