Local Monk Launches Onlyfans Page

LHASA –

Seeing the success of others who’ve monetized their existence as objects of desire, local monk Jamyang Lobsang-Smith, 63, has decided to follow suit with his own life.

“One bowl of rice per day is all that a monk on the path to enlightenment needs”, said Lobsang-Smith, “But selling pics of me meditating at dawn can get me a tricked-out suite at the Four Seasons.”

Fans of Lobsang-Smith were quick to defend this move.

“People say it’s dirty and he should be ashamed”, said superfan Edward Creeperton, 53, of Granite City, “But I say it’s an honest way to make a living, especially for us sandal enthusiasts willing to pony up.”

At press time, Lobsang-Smith was expecting to hit the 30,000 subscriber mark by month’s end, citing a passage from the Buddha that to subscribe is to be at one with the flow of credit-building.