Man Having Psychedelic Panic Attack Thrilled To Be Cured Of Depression


In a story that’s rippled through the local mental health community, Joe Trippinshrooms, 28, is elated to have finally conquered his depression by stepping into the world of existential terror.

“I was hesitant about taking these mushrooms at first”, said Trippinshrooms, shaking uncontrollably while shielding himself from giant fire-breathing possoms, “But then I figured, I’ve tried everything for my depression and nothing’s worked. So might as well give petrified psychosis a try.”

Trippinshrooms, a longtime sufferer of clinical depression, had been struggling for years with a lack of motivation, low mood, paltry libido and a loss of interest in things he once enjoyed, like basketball, mountain biking and knitting.

But this all changed when he was approached by a psychedelic practitioner, took a guided journey into the void, had a psychotic break, fell down a rabbit hole of derealization and could no longer string together the building blocks of his reality.

“I have to say, it’s amazing to be this energized again!”, said Trippinshrooms, crying hysterically and curled up in the fetal position, “Depression is the worst!”

At press time, Trippinshrooms was planning on continuing his psychedelic journey with an Ayahuasca retreat in the Amazon, presuming his 5th-dimensional captors release his energy in time to catch his flight.

Leave a Comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.