Wicked Man Earns God’s Wrath, Sent To Eternity Of Sensitivity Training


After a lifetime spent as a liar, thief and unethical fantasy football manager, local man Rod Di Hellino, 57, suddenly found himself transported to a terrifying realm immediately following his coronary.

“I never believed in any of this nonsense”, said Di Hellino, upon checking in and being seated next to Helen from Marketing, “But there it was. Just like they warned me about in Church when I was a kid. Powerpoints and everything.”

The training, lasting all of eternity to mirror how the experience feels on Earth, convinced Di Hellino that his life should have been lived differently.

“Look, I never would have knocked off that bank had I known I’d be in a place where knock-knock jokes are considered too edgy”, said Di Hellino, “And don’t get me started on why they told me my argyle socks were problematic.”

At press time, Di Hellino was actively lobbying for absolution, promising to be an informant for Angelic HR in exchange for his release.

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