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Wuhan Origins Of Wuhan Restaurant Confirmed

WASHINGTON –

After four years of rigorous scientific inquiry, it’s been confirmed by academic sources the world over that the Huanghelang Restaurant in Wuhan does, in fact, have its origins in Wuhan.

“This discovery changes everything”, said Sen. John Kennedy (R-LA), “Now we know who’s responsible for that outbreak of E. Coli from the undercooked dumplings. Ain’t no way that nice couple from Zhengzhou caught it in the wild.”

Critics, however, found flaws in the research that led to this finding.

“We still contend the restaurant could be anywhere, and pointing the finger at Wuhan is reductionist”, said Harvard Professor of Virological and Culinary Studies, Dr. Sharon McBatsoup, “Our own research indicates a high likelihood of the Huanghelang Restaurant having mutated from an existing food truck in Austin.”

At press time, the restaurant was looking forward to welcoming new customers, leaning into the study with a Pathogenetic lo mein special of the day.

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